During the latest season in my personal life, I have been reflecting a lot on the feelings attached with Amy’s sickness – both hers and mine. And there have been many present in her hospital room with us: frustration, disappointment, sadness and anger. Of all of these, there is one at the root of them all; one that feeds other emotions present with us here at L & M. It’s fear.

Wikipedia defines fear as an emotional response to threats of danger. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of pain. Fear has enormous power. It has the ability to take your breath away. It can paralyze you. It can cause you to shake to your very core. Have you ever been afraid…? I mean, really afraid? What made you feel that way? How did you respond?

In the three and a half years that Amy has been sick with this cancer, we have felt fear at different degrees in the many scenarios we have been presented with. When Amy’s first brain tumor was discovered, there was the initial shock that numbed all of our feelings. When the adrenaline subsided, fear rushed in to our hearts like waters exploded through a breached dam. That feeling alone is literally enough to kill a man.

Fear can change its shape. Its biggest asset is the unknown. Three and a half years later, Amy and I know full well what her illness looks like… every brain surgery, every needle, every scan. We know the face the doctors make when the news isn’t good. Different doctors, same face. And fear knows how to get you every time. Fear is like a ninja and takes advantage of the element of surprise. Once it has struck you, it is free to allow all his other friends to feed on your soul – feelings of despair, anxiety and hopelessness.

So what do we do when we’re afraid? I see three options. Option 1: In-act. Do nothing. Let fear paralyze oneself with its poisonous venom.

Option 2: Re-act. Respond to the emotion with emotion. Get mad, get stupid. Run away or fight. Substitute fear with another emotion of choice. Satisfy oneself with pleasure.

There is a third option. This one brings life. However, it is the road less traveled – probably because of the independent spirit of a man. The Bible tells us that God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind. In other words, by surrendering to God’s will, he in turn gives us the ability to have power over our choices.

Option 3: Contract. Enter in to an agreement with God and walk through difficulties together. It is a great deal but don’t expect your feelings to go away. Expect God to give you the power to overcome the emotion and the courage to move forward when we feel afraid. This is the fruit of the Spirit.